The Princess and the Porn Star

The Princess and the Porn Star - Lauren Gallagher 2 STARSJust when I thought I was out...The fact that the heroine is a Britney Spears prototype alone, I'm just asking for a world of hurt reading this... but it has PORN STAR in the title! How. Can. I. Not?! It's like asking the family tiger not to eat the family dog inside the house.Well it didn't hurt. Much. If anything, the amount of fucks that dog is giving the tiger closely approximates mine. I did finish it without getting too offended so I'm giving it a star for delivering exactly what it promised: a story about a pop princess and an adult entertainment actor falling for each other. And another star for this exchange at the Rock N Rhapsody (insert snort here) Awards from Lee's POV:"Ooh, you're the porn star, aren't you?" the singer, Ronnie, asked as he shook my hand."Yeah, I am." I extended my hand to the guitarist but he didn't take it.Instead he asked with a hint of slime, "So have you ever been to an event like this?"I just smiled. "A few actually.""Have you now?""Your industry isn't the only one that gives out awards," I said. Burned! By the five time Skinman Award AND Lifetime Achievement Awardee no less (show some respect, dude).There's a terrible dearth of meaty (pun intended) porn star novels out there and the few that do tackle them were mediocre at best. This has been such a disappointment because I find adding "porn star" to any book makes it doubly interesting for me (as I fine-tune my expectations of course). Making some of my favorite book boyfriends porn actors in my head is making my brain explode as it is (Dex 'Bigfoot' Foray, the porn star, investigating supernatural forces with Perry Palomino... tell me that didn't make your day a little shinier). This one had definite anorexia in the plot and character depth department. The story doesn't evolve beyond the issues and implications of a wholesome pop star on a comeback getting involved with Buck Harder, star of Skanks & Scrubs II and the Nasty Cheerleaders franchise. Both MCs are trapped in the black hole of "we should-we shouldn't" that we fail to see them beyond it. This book expected me to believe that a pop star and a porn actor can fall in love over Call of Duty, Sex and Coffee. Which is such a waste because the book failed to explore Olivia/Rachel's previous issues (the woman had a breakdown for crying out loud, couldn't that have at least played in the story?) nor Buck/Lee's interesting quirks (the implausibility of him being a ComiCon trooping geek wasn't even exploited). The writing was decent but the "too much telling without any showing" hampered my enjoyment of the already thinned out story. Things do not happen in this book, they get discussed while walking on the beach, in the dressing room and yes, even in the middle of sex. There was one scene where Olivia/Rachel was giving Lee head to the brink of climax then she stopped to discuss the fine points of the adult film industry. I kid you not. Speaking of the sex scenes it bothered me quite a bit how Lee and Rachel's intimate moments came across porn-ish itself to a certain extent. Given the nature of Lee's work I was expecting a bit more depth in this aspect of their relationship than it was given (there was none).There was some attempt to make a commentary on the entertainment industry's double standards when it comes to female artists but it only highlighted the plot's weaknesses. The secondary characters were dull and gay bestie Quinn didn't dish anything worth quoting. I'm not going to go over the scenes that severely cheesed me off (there were far too many and I'm all snarked out) but overall, this was like the little book that could've but didn't. Now I'm gonna go off to that little dark corner of my mind, re-imagining my favorite book boyfriends as porn stars in their stories to tide me over until the next porn hero/heroine read comes along. Pervy, yes I know.