“You know,” he began, voice low and full, “if you were to ever leave me, I’d come looking for you, on every street.”“You promise?”“Always.” And I knew he kept his promises.”Remember The Police's eternal anthem for creepy stalkers everywhere, "Every Breath You Take"? When taken with enough alcohol proof, that song will start to sound romantic. I kid you not, I once went to a wedding, and that was the couple's first dance. So this book maybe a tragedy for some, but i'm choosing to see it for the hopeful love story that it is (I am so in the minority, I know) in my Javier-buzzed brain.This is the story of con artist Ellie Watt's state of prolonged inebriation, as Eden White, and her drug of choice, Sexican extraordinaire, Javier Bernal. Set six years prior to the events of Sins & Needles, this was Ellie and Javier's Lost Weekend of All-Consuming Love and Revenge, told through a near-frenetic pace of passion, love and obsession. If you've read Sins & Needles, you know this is going to hurt, but you also just have to see how good it was to know how much it will destroy you after. Then what's left of you will try to string words together and write a review.And it was REALLY good.And now here we are. This book hurts like a mother, mostly because I loved Javier in S&N and maybe a small part of me wants to see him get the girl. Almost as much as I want a crocodile Birkin. Oh but why is it always the insanely impossible things that we yearn for? A smooth almost reptilian charmer of a bad guy that was also all grit and sexy intensity, Javier was mostly the invisible ghost haunting Ellie in S&N but here, we get to see a snippet of their time together... And it's still not enough.I'm probably the only one who was a wee bit too happy with how things ended in S&N. I'm so taken by this character, I fully empathize with Eden's blind state. “The boat was on autopilot but he still liked to look like he was steering.”That little nuance, that small detail and my mind goes haywire speculating if that was a small look into Javier's psyche (yes, I'm crossing over to crazy woman territory). At this point, I don't think I can ever get enough of Javier. There's enough crazed, kinetic energy in the character to keep me interested for a completely different series where he's just intensely making taquitos . Okay maybe make taquitos and bang someone. Or two. Because lord knows that boy has talent! The sex talk went a bit too far to riduculous-ville towards the latter parts but I'm not really complaining. Especially since this short novella packed depth, plot and character-wise, more than some full-length books I've had to power through in the past few weeks. I even thought for sure this book would answer all my questions about Ellie and Javier, but it just left me wanting for more. I think a part of me wishes to see Javier redeemed but a greater part just refuses to take him as he is, no questions asked, because the bigger picture, supposedly, doesn't need it. After Ellie's conversation with Marda towards the end, my heart broke a little more than when Eden/Ellie witnessed his infidelity.Then I remember this is a trilogy, and a weed of hope persists in me that maybe it's still okay to want the impossible.ARC provided by the author for an honest review
